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Funny user trouble reports

Leo....I actually thought about mixing up all the clocks for all the time zones we have up and just swap them around everyday.

Darren, I did tell the helpdesk person the next day because they still did not get my point. To send these things to office services and they said ok....then I slapped my forhead and said I was kidding and to just reach up and change the batteries yourself with the ones you keep in your desk...they said ohhh!

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Funny user trouble reports

Leo....I actually thought about mixing up all the clocks for all the time zones we have up and just swap them around everyday.

LOL.  I'd still adjust the time 1 hour in advance.  The person goes to the meeting room 1 hour early, sees no one is there and leaves.

Darren, I did tell the helpdesk person the next day because they still did not get my point. To send these things to office services and they said ok....then I slapped my forhead and said I was kidding and to just reach up and change the batteries yourself with the ones you keep in your desk...they said ohhh!

Soooooo ... what happens if you ran out of batteries?  Do you go down to the motor pool and ask the mechanic if they a 27-plate battery for a semi truck?

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Funny user trouble reports

A few days ago, we had a ticket saying something in the words like:  User can't reach website.  Claims to be getting a 404 error message.  Checked using my iPad but I can get through.  This must be a network issue.

One of my colleague (who's also a server expert) went ape.  He called up the dispatcher and berated him.  If you are getting a "404" error that means the internet is working but the remote end is experiencing a server issue.  The dispatcher stands by his ground and wouldn't admit he's made a mistake.

Anyway, after the conversation he was venting his anger and I told him he could've "demonstrated" what a network issue is like.  They all turned to look at me (naught thoughts churning) and I said, "Put his switchport into VLAN 1 or shutdown and tell him, '404 is not a network issue.  This is a network issue.'".

I was overruled.  Too bad.

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Funny user trouble reports

leolaohoo wrote:

Anyway, after the conversation he was venting his anger and I told him he could've "demonstrated" what a network issue is like.  They all turned to look at me (naught thoughts churning) and I said, "Put his switchport into VLAN 1 or shutdown and tell him, '404 is not a network issue.  This is a network issue.'".

I was overruled.  Too bad.

I *like* you, Leo. You're my kinda B*stard![1]

Cheers

[1] JFGI "BOFH" if you don't know it already. Probably NSFW if you get busted, or have a really anal URL filter.

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Funny user trouble reports

[1] JFGI "BOFH" if you don't know it already. Probably NSFW if you get busted, or have a really anal URL filter.

I found it!  Thanks for the BOFH tip.

Nah, the subnet of our team doesn't go through the firewall.  As a matter of fact, doesn't even go to anywhere else BUT the internet directly.  Not like to other lusers. 

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Funny user trouble reports

leolaohoo wrote:

[1] JFGI "BOFH" if you don't know it already. Probably NSFW if you get busted, or have a really anal URL filter.

I found it!  Thanks for the BOFH tip.

I've modelled my career on the BOFH. Etherkiller and all!

:-)


Nah, the subnet of our team doesn't go through the firewall.  As a matter of fact, doesn't even go to anywhere else BUT the internet directly.  Not like to other lusers. 

Ahhh, a man of my own heart. My PC *always* has a static IP and an exemption from all firewall rules if I run the damn thing. The "God" rule is the first thing I create. :-)

Cheers.

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Funny user trouble reports

Having chuckled a few times from reading the other replies I felt that it was only proper for me to add to the list.

"A friend" told me this (identity changed to protect the innocent).

My friend was called to a check out their network/server room, which, given some rather poor building design and a bit of bad weather (read lots and lots of rain for several days), now had several inches of water covering the floor, and it was rising fast...  (Just minutes to go before essential kit that should never be submerged would be pressure tested...)

He called their network HQ office (in a different country) to let them know what was happening and that he was turning off the power to the room in about 30 seconds and that the network would be going down, so not to be surprised when they lose connectivity.  Only to be told, "No. You can't tell us that, we tell you if you can turn off the network!".

His reply, "Well, you can tell me not to, and if I do as you say you might hear the bang all the way over there, but either way, the network is definitely getting turned off, just thought that you'd like to know."

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Re: Funny user trouble reports

Hey Tim,

Nice story.  Reminds me of this picture below.

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Funny user trouble reports

leolaohoo wrote:

Hey Tim,

Nice story.  Reminds me of this picture below.

Ouch.

Just....Ouch.

That's one expensive sewer drain!

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Re: Funny user trouble reports

Aside from managing the client's network I was also given the un-glamorous job of managing the corportate network.  Fine with me.  But what makes matters worst was the fact the NOC is located in Malaysia and being a CCNA guy, we were delegated as "field service".  Field Service as in "can you patch this port to this switch".  All my previous configuration access was removed.

So late one evening (around 9:30 pm), we had a hail storm and it lasted around 45 minutes.  Due to some de-ranged lunat1c's decision, the "temporary" Data Centre was located three floors UNDER GROUND.  (It was termed "temporary" SEVEN YEARS before this event.)  So when the hail storm hit (along with 2 hours of rain after the hail) clogged up the sewer lines and ... you know the drill.

The rain water had nowhere to go and pooled above ground and managed to find cracks on the concrete and started flowing through them ... and down to the "temporary" DC.

The water hit the main power outlets on the floor and the entire place went dark.  I got a call in Malaysia asking me WHY the corporate LAN was down.  I looked back at the dark ominous clouds, the size of them hails, the AMOUNT of hail on the road and the 10:30 "breaking news".

I told them, "There was a SEVERE hail storm and there are power outages all over the city."

The next few questions from the NOC floored me, "Can you restore the service of the corporate LAN quickly?"

"No I won't," I responded.

"Should I escalate this issue with your manager?"

And then the rest of the conversation became heated. 

The words crazy, nuts and alot of four-letter-words-that-will-get-censored were used, mostly by me.   Ok, all of them from me to the poor bloke.

NOTE:  When I refused, I professionally explained why I was not in a hurry to restore the link:

1.  It was night.

2.  No one was crazy enough to STILL be at work after a hail storm.  Everyone would be rushing home to check on their houses or crying outside the curb at the damages to their car after the hail storm. 

3.  256 kbps frame relay link (should I say more) to support 1500 staff.

4.  The risk of me crashing my transport.

5.   It was night.

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Re: Funny user trouble reports

Been there, done that.

The best one I had was at a site where we didn't *really* have a LAN room - this was, oh, I dunno, maybe 25 years ago now.

We had a small partitioned area into which we had stuck several racks. No raised floor, just sitting on the carpet.

Because the air conditioning was inadequate for the progressively larger and larger amount of kit being put into the room (this was the very beginning of "corporate LAN's in Australia - Australia's largest Telco, Novell 2.1, 10Base2 Coax networks, 286 PC's as clients, so everything was *huge*), the powers-that-be had a couple of stand alone air conditioning units connected in the room.

Trouble is, they were connected to the building chillers for cold water supply.

This all went very well - air con kept the room to a level where nothing blew up, and all was good.

Until the semi-annual "cooling tower cleanout" was done on the building chillers.

Now, I don't know if you've ever been a party to this, but back then part of the process was completely replacing the chiller water - after purging the system by adding an *extremely* strong caustic into the existing water to get rid of any cr*p which may have grown or infected the system.

You can see where I'm going with this, right?

Our stand-alone systems were linked to the chillers via *copper* piping - and the caustic promptly did its best and ate *holes* into the pipe at the joints in our computer room where it pooled and took a bit to get forced back out by the pressure.

Cue *large* amounts of contaminated, caustic, bright GREEN water flooding into the floor of our "computer room". Seems the partitioning was all-but water tight too - the only leaks were under the door, and those only minor because of the door seal.

All this happened, of course, before we got in for the morning - I arrived to find 3 and a half inches of water lapping at the bottom of the rack with out (then) very expensive HP router in it, and our several (then) even more expensive servers being mounted 4 inches from the ground.

I've never thrown a circuit breaker so fast in my life. I didn't care what happened to non-cached data on the servers (turns out I only corrupted a single bTrieve database, which happened on average twice a week anyway), I was only filled with an urge to NOT see the smoke being released from the kit.

Luckily, the water didn't actually get inside any of the cases - although it was touch and go - because the air con guys noticed the loss of water and came down the building floor-by-floor until they found out where it was going, but many, MANY bad words were said by me as to the advisability of checking they wouldn't damage anything before just dumping kilos of caustic cr*p into a water supply next time!

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Re: Funny user trouble reports

Hey Guys!

Thanks to Tim, Leo & Darren for sharing these latest stories +5 each.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at some of these crazy events!

But I guess it's always best to laugh! Hahahahaha.

Cheers!

Huff

"Show a little faith, there's magic in the night" - Springsteen

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Re: Funny user trouble reports

I hope I would not have to resort using the picture below in CSC ...

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Funny user trouble reports

Hey Leo,

HUGE!! Congrats on reaching 10,000 points my friend What a great milestone

time for 10,000 beers Nice work.

Cheers!

"Smooth" Rob

"Show a little faith, there's magic in the night" - Springsteen

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Funny user trouble reports

You're right.  It did took "forever"!

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