Right-o. Here are the Club rules:
1. Welcome mat is outside the door and it reads, "Leave your pride outside".
2. No work-related stuffs here. Whinging is acceptable.
3. No religious topic/debate.
4. No political topic/debate.
5. No harassing and definitely no "below-da-belt" stuff.
6. Jokes are welcome. Just be sensible and have a good sense of humour.
7. English language (`nuff said!) or provide translations.
8. Aussie slangs and jargons exempted. He he he ...
9. Invites to your birthday party very much welcome, and a big thank you!
10. Remember the explitive-filter-engine. You've been warned.
11. Giving points is optional ... it’s all up to you.
12. HAVE FUN!
Message was edited by: leolaohoo
Hi there Maria,
Love, love, love the Coffeee MIB idea ...hahahahahahahahahahaha! +5
I also really enjoyed the CPTE (Cisco Pizza Test Engineer) reference. Count
me in on that new cert!
Leo.....I'm still laughing from the sample TAC / Customer RMA conversation
I've attached a file for you to play when you get this type of call I love playing it when
I tell a joke that doesn't get any laughs.
Sometimes we might tell a joke that doesn't get any laughs. Other times there is no obvious intention of someone to be funny, yet someone might be laughing. Look at this thread for example:
I haven't read the entire thread. I have actually stopped at the first line of Rob's post. If you get to know Rob a little bit, you expect his post to start with something like a "Hi/Hey
I think I'm going to leave the cafe for a while. Perhaps until cisco has that coffee machine ready. Or earlier. We'll see. You know, I have a pleasant problem with CSC lately. There are so many interesting things going on (funny threads, technical threads, ask the expert events, blog posts) that I'm having a hard time to decide what to do and what not to do.
Sometimes we might tell a joke that doesn't get any laughs. Other times there is no obvious intention of someone to be funny, yet someone might be laughing.
Here's one of the gurus, Jon Marshall:
Ok, it seems that it's not so easy for me to leave the cafe after all. I was thinking about a response to Leo's dialogue and decided to post it before Dan locks our historical and guinness record capable thread. This thread has exceeded the number of posts of the new NetPro feedback thread a long time ago.
Dan, thanks for offering us a more luxurious playground where we can use our sand buckets (or should I say "thanks Dad"? ). I will make sure Leo continues to play nice. Otherwise...well, let's just say I'm an experienced older sister of 3 brothers. I also have 3 nieces (the older is only 6 and a strong opponent). In fact, my 3rd niece was delivered the previous Friday! I'm a professional aunt now (i.e. I get all the good stuff and no serious obligations).
BTW1: 5min Dan? Really? So, it was a good decision for me to get a new laptop with core i7 and 4GB DDR3 SDRAM before this thread reached this number of posts. Be quick with the new topic though or I might need to go to 8GB DRAM (that means an extra 8, 'cause the current 4 can't be used in the 8 scenario).
BTW2: Warlord/Marshall is definitely a Martial Leader, commander, inspiring figure, and master tactician with special auras.
Cisco TAC engineer: Thank you for calling cisco TAC. My name is Rob. How can I help you sir?
Cisco customer: Hi, my name is Morning Sorrow and I have an urgent problem with my Ferrari!
Rob: What seems to be the problem with your Ferrari my friend and how can cisco help?
M.S.: Here in Australia I once met a cisco sales representative named Leo Laohoo. I don't know if you know him.
Rob: Yes, I know the guy. What did Leo do to your Ferrari?
M.S.: He didn't do anything bad to my Ferrari. This guy is really cool you know and after some time we became friends. We shared a common interest in cars. At some point I had a problem with the v12 engine of my Ferrari and we were discussing it. I was concerned about the cost of a new engine. Leo suggested me buying a cisco AP instead of a new v12 engine. It would be cheaper and I would be able to reach similarly high speeds while driving my Ferrari.
Rob: That was a perfectly valid suggestion. Have you actually tried it?
M.S.: Of course. It was a win-win situation and I was very pleased with the results. We configured the AP as lightweight also to reduce the total weight of the Ferrari and increase the maximum speed further. This setup also consumes less fuel and is therefore very friendly to the environment.
Rob: That's good. Cisco has always been a supporter of green initiatives and that's why you could see a dark green color in most cisco products. We changed our corporate website lately to use a blue color to stress that the environment also has a blue color. The sky and the sea for example. In addition, your overall setup is actually the configuration that cisco recommends for the Ferrari. So, what went wrong?
M.S.: Everything was fine for some time. This morning however I decided to take my Ferrari to go to work, but the Ferrari just wouldn't boot!
Rob: Have you examined the Ferrari about the problem?
M.S.: Yes. I opened the Ferrari to see what's going on and guess what. My cisco AP engine was just gone! I went nuts. At that moment my wife approached me with a guilty expression all over her face. She started: "Darling, the other day I wanted to gain some hands-on in converting AP's from lightweight to autonomous and vice versa, but something went wrong and I couldn't figure what the problem was. Please, believe me, I wanted to tell you, but there never seemed to be a right time to discuss this." I then started screaming: "How many times have I told you to be very careful with my Ferrari? From now on, when it comes to my Ferrari, you should just sit in the seat next to the driver and nothing more!..."
Rob: Say no more my friend. I completely understand the problem. My wife Carmen has done the same thing to me once. When the AP is converted from lightweight to autonomous in the Ferrari there is an increased risk of it becoming completely autonomous. In such a case, it might even leave the Ferrari and the first symptom would be that the Ferrari doesn't boot.
M.S.: That's exactly what happened! Can cisco offer a replacement for my AP?
Rob: I'm so sorry my friend. Cisco can only replace the AP if you find it and send it back to us.
M.S.: But I can't find it! If I could, I would just convert it back to lightweight! Could cisco at least send me a new one ASAP?
Rob: Of course my friend. That is definitely possible. I will personally contact Leo to arrange an immediate delivery. I will also contact PSIRT to have an advisory up shortly for all our customers that may have a Ferrari, since this is clearly a physical security issue. When this happened to me I just didn't expect it to happen to another person, but, as it turns out, I was wrong. All ways of converting an AP to autonomous must be disabled by default and permanently to all AP's installed in Ferrari's and the next software releases of all controllers and WCS will probably address that.
M.S.: Thank you so much! I have been trying to contact Leo this entire morning, but I couldn't find him. He just wouldn't pick up the phone for some reason and that's why I called TAC. Bye Bye.
Rob: Thank you my friend and have a nice rest of the day!
p.s. See the difference Leo? TAC engineer Rob doesn't freak out so easily!
I read this post over an hour ago and I'm still laughing
You shouldn't be a career criminal but rather a Writer I think.
This line struck me as especially funny and full of irony;
"there is an increased risk of it becoming completely autonomous."
Thanks for making my day "my friend!"
Edgar Allan Poe, move aside. Master-Maria-one-finger-on-the-button is coming through! (And, boy, does she have a tale that'll send shivers down your spine!)
Maria, Rob, Kimberly, et al,
Thanks for the comments and ratings.
This is one of my original intention for this topic. At the end of a hectic, busy and stressful day we go to a simple forum topic just to unwind or cry-from-laughing. In case the boss walks behind you, they'll see that you are in a "Cisco" website and they'll think nothing bad is going on. (Just like what happened to me several times.)
One thing I'm cautious is not to crash the CSC because this thread is getting way too long.
Leo, et al,
It seems like everyone is playing nice in the Cisco Cafe sandbox including Leo I'm sure everyone is tired of loading a thread that has over a 180 responses so I'll be opening a permanent Cisco Cafe topic very soon. Once the permanent topic is open I'll move this thread in there and lock it down so no one else has to wait 5 minutes to load the thread.
Wow have not been in here for a while, how's all the peeps? Leo, looks like you are founder of what will soon be the place to be for all on the net......facebook, twitter move over...Leo's Cisco Café is going main stream. When will the movie be cast? I would love to audition for the part of Leo....move over Mel Gibson, Burleyman has arrived.
Have a good weekend........ Go All Blacks!!!
Burleyman aka. Cross-over cable guy
Huff suggested I may have missed a calling to be a song writer so I thought I would try it out here....
The first release from the Rock group "Burleyman and the Cross-over cables"
Sung to the tune of Nickleback - Rock Star
The weather is getting colder and the lake is going to freeze.
This network job hasn't turned out quite the way I wanted it to be.
(Tell me what you want)
I want some straight through cables and a boss with a brain
a nice Cisco switch that will work in the rain
and a king size paycheck big enough for my baby and me.
(So what you need?)
I need a Cisco Cafe and some nice hot tea
and some nice friends to share their stories with me.
Gonna join in some fun and have a great big laugh.
(Been there done that)
I want a brand new data center full of new Cisco gear
and a budget that will last me all of the year.
Somewhere between twenty and thirty million is fine with me.
(So how ya gonna do it?)
I am going to get CCIE
and I'll get fortune and fame
I'll study real hard
and make myself a big name.
'Cause we all just wanna be Network Engineers
and rake in the cash and drink a few beers
The fame will come easy and the Cisco gear come cheap
and we will all stay famous and King Crab we will eat.
and we'll all hang out in the Cisco Cafe
eat pizza and drink beer and tea all day
Every good Networker's gonna wind up there
Even the ones wild and crazy hair.
Hey, Hey I wanna be a Network engineer
I would love to hear your suggestion for a CSC theme song? In fact, anyone who has a suggestion I'm all ears
I might not come to the Cafe again, unless Leo stops silently accepting congratulations about it (while also ignoring the evidence) and finally admits that the Cafe in itself is teamwork and even the idea for the Cafe was not his in the first place. For those who are too old or too young to remember:
This is basic ethics found in true scientists and are also found even in rogues/master criminals (beware of the rogues to avoid sneak attacks and extra damage).
BTW1: Why is it that people are always so eager to attribute the success of a thing to a single person? Or do you think only Dan for example is working in the CSC team? If that's what you think, then I guess you should also accept that your boss is right to think your contribution to the company is negligible.
BTW2: I am personally proud of selecting Rob to play the TAC engineer. If I had put myself in that role, it would have been less funny or not funny at all. Besides, I don't have a wife named Carmen and I had the chance to make Rob say a couple of evil things that he normally wouldn't, but I would. And of course all the characters contributed to the story, especially the wives as guest stars.
Mike, are you sure you want to play the role of Leo in that movie?
'Cause I'll be writing the script. In the final scene the script writer will appear as ugly Witch Maria in front of a huge saucepot (Hitchcock-style guest appearance, ok, maybe I will also appear in an elevator or something among others somewhere in the middle of the film).
The mix is ready, well thought and well prepared.
Every disgusting thing since the dawn of time is found in it.
She will raise both her hands above the boiling saucepot and repeat the magic words 3 times.
Leo will instantly turn into a frog (yet another green initiative ).
There will be no "kissing option" to return to normal life (this isn't a movie for kids ).
Same thing will happen to every actor that dares to play the role of Leo for as long as humans exist.
In the final scene, Witch Maria will fly towards the sky using her broom.
An evil unstoppable laughter will be heard as the movie titles go down or up as she commands.
As she tries to go up higher, she suddenly falls towards the ground.
Now that hurt! Stars appear circling around her head.
But, hey, the curse has been resolved!
She can now sing like she always wanted.
A soprano in La Scala, in NY MET, in SFO and all over the place.
Maria Callas is reborn.
Ok, maybe this is a movie for kids after all.
Dan, it's funny that you mentioned the CSC theme song. I was thinking about a CSC poem at some point the previous month. I was hoping that it wouldn't really be necessary though. I wouldn't write it myself of course, unless you want some incomprehensible (even to many greeks) cretan mandinada's. If you guys don't know what a mandinada is, I will explain some other time. I was thinking about inviting the artistic spirit of the forum in my prize thread. That would be Mike of course. This way Mike could also get a resolved checkmark. Can't expect Leo to do this. This thread is approaching 200 posts and he still hasn't given to people a single resolved checkmark. Anyway, yesterday I changed my mind and I believe a poem/song is necessary. But Dan, are you sure you want to leave the poem structure free? 'Cause if you do, I bet this is going to become a thread about ratings! I would personally prefer a poem/song about community norms, community philosophy, etc.
Mike, if you find yourself struggling for inspiration, the following might be of some help:
or a Wikipedia entry (a humanitarian philosophy for a truly human network):
If that doesn't help, we'll try to find something else. Take your time Mike. Make it good.
BTW: Have you guys noticed that a Wireless Jedi Master wanders in the forum? That's pretty cool. You might freak out, but I have never seen Star Wars. I've only heard and read about it. Anyway, it's good to have at least one Jedi Master in the forums, because we need to destroy the Death Star. I suppose he is using the light side instead of the dark side of the Force. [The Jedi are characters in the Star Wars universe and the series' main protagonists. They use a quasi-telekinetic power, known as the Force, and weapons, known as lightsabers, which emit a controlled energy flow in the shape of a sword, to serve and protect their Republic and the whole galaxy from conflict or government instability. They sometimes moderate peace negotiations between planets and, if necessary, use their formidable fighting skills to quickly end unrest. The Jedi are led by a Council of 12 members consisting of the most powerful and wise members of the order. The Jedi are bound to a code of morality and justice and are trained in the use of the light side of the force but not the Dark side. The Jedi are first introduced in the 1977 film Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope as an order of warrior monks who serve as "the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy" and embrace the mystical Force.]
May the Force be with you Nicolas and with us all!
It's also impressive for a person at this age to know so much about wireless!
It's also good to see so many cisco engineers flooding the CSC sections since the beginning of the previous month.
I only have one question: who would Princess Leia with the iconic golden "metal bikini" be?
Just don't put Dan,Mike, Leo or me in the "Golden Bikini" Hahahahahahaha!
+5 for this awesome post my friend! You really "hit it out of the park" on this one!
Mike.....Loved,loved,loved the new song bud! +5 all day long ...Rock & Roll!!
Here's one more verse
I'm gonna patch those cords
and hope they're not crossed
Gonna do a great job
despite of my boss
Get Burlyman writing all my songs
Sing'em every night in a CSC sing-along!