The first step, of course, is that you have to upgrade to Washing Machine XP. After that, you install your NIC, which can only be done during the spin cycle, otherwise you have to start over. Configure your NIC with the proper IP address and default gateway, and voila. If you have any problems, reboot the washing machine by opening the lid, turning the dial to permanent press, and spinning the tub all at the same time. Good luck.
Sorry, I couldn't resist!